The Art of the Tease
by ShadowyHarlequin
Summary: Naruto and the boys: Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Sai to be specific, decide to go to a strip club. More silliness ensues! NaruSasu


Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, and Sai walk into a bar. What happens when they find out that it's a male stripper bar? What about when one of the masked dancers is familiar looking? Jet black hair, dark onyx eyes behind the mask, and a lithe pale body, maybe Naruto will be able to identify this mysterious sexy man. =D

What has our defected ninja been up to in his spare time...?

**The Art of the Tease** _~ ShadowyHarlequin_

"I don't know..."

"I promise it'll be a lot of fun. All the hottest babes hang out here."

The group of five passed a large neon sign that said 'Nightingales', in bright, intricate, old-world, red lettering. There were no other indications of what kind of club it was, black curtains drawn over the large panoramic front windows.

"Sai....seriously?" The blonde looked skeptical.

"Yeah, I'm with Naruto, are you sure about this?" A brunette with lazy eyes and his hair pulled back in a ponytail asked the black haired one.

"Yes, now come one. I don't see Neji or Kiba complaining," the boy with short black hair, apparently Sai, barely batted an eyelash, but that was pretty normal for him. The owners of the two names, one with long loose black hair and the other with short spiky brown locks, immediately blanched, red spreading in a wave across their cheeks.

Neji immediately muttered something about not wanting to get involved, closely followed by Kiba who quite flustered, spat out a "yeah, leave us outta this" at the same time.

"But, I thought you guys were comfortable being bi-sexual now?"

Neji's eyes had magically grown to the size of golf balls and turned a murderous look on Sai that clearly said, "...and why do you feel the need to say this in public?'

Shikamaru had finally gotten impatient, "Let's just go inside. No more troublesome arguments. Do you guys really want someone to see us standing outside of here?"

That was apparently a far better argument (but who would expect less of a great strategist?) for all the boys stopped their bickering and opened the large intricate doors.

They passed through the doors and into a small waiting area, a long desk to the side running about chest height, a sweet looking girl behind it. (Damn, everything here looked _really_ expensive.) She looked a little surprised at the fact that their entire party was comprised of men. They had made sure that both men and women were welcome at the club before coming, well... Sai had apparently been here before. That didn't surprise them at all. Naruto had always figured his teammate was a little fruity..._I mean who wears a belly shirt ALL the time but isn't gay? Seriously._

"Bachelor party?" The hostess offered.

Sai smiled politely, "No. Just boys night." He laughed at his own little joke, charmingly flirting up the hostess. The rest shifted uncomfortably.

She laughed, "Reserved?"

"Yes, I did this morning. Plus, I'm a member," he winked at her, for good measure.

"Well, you have a table available to watch the show, or you can go to the bar if you want. We also have private rooms in the back for alone time if you find a particular dancer you like. I recommend staying in the main room for a little bit. Our biggest hit is going on tonight soon and he's really very good," she smile cheerily as she waved them on through, only looking a little disturbed by their odd attire.

All of them had dressed in black for their night out on the town, but Naruto had been extra overly cautious to make sure _nobody _recognized him. He had a black hat covering his easily recognizable hair and sunglasses over his eyes. His whiskers had posed a problem, but Kiba had slapped a bandage over each cheek and proclaimed him ready. Yeah....not conspicuous at _all_.... It's not like anybody who knew him and had half a brain cell wouldn't immediately recognize his friends anyway, but sarcasm was usually lost on Naruto.

The last thing he needed was a rumor spread that he frequented these sorts of places. He'd especially never live it down if Konahamaru ever found out...Naruto had chided him a bit too much for his gratuitous display of man-sex with his newest version of the Oiroke no Jutsu (special guy on guy version) which needless to say had slightly disturbed him... Most likely, because he had really wanted to be in Sai's place. Nobody deserved to be in that intimate a pose with his best friend unless it was him! Right?!

Wait....What!!? Had he just heard himself correctly? _Am I really jealous? _Another thought struck him with even more force. _Gah! Am I really attracted to that teme!?! No! Of course not. He's not attractive at all... _Each consecutive thought was losing its potency.

"I need a drink," he mumbled to himself. When he reached the bar he pulled his hitai-ate out of his jacket pocket and flashed it at the barkeep. Old enough to be a shinobi, old enough to drink. Something about risking your life for the fire country made people see you as an adult rather than a kid. Naruto wasn't really a kid anyway. Fifteen was plenty old enough to down some sake, he told himself. After all, he'd seen Tsunade do it often enough he may as well be an expert.

Naruto sat down as the bartender poured a clear liquid into a small, flat, dish-like cup. He downed it in one gulp. If there was anything he'd learned about the stuff the one time he had tried it, that was that he hated the taste. He just wanted it to start working its drunken healing magic on him. He was fairly sure that thanks to his bijuu he would never be able to get drunk, but he could try, damn it. The man left the bottle for his discretion and moved down to help another costumer.

The sound system in the large room had been playing an annoying song that Naruto realized he knew. It was Sexy Music by WINK. Oh, god...he groaned. He looked askance at the bartender. He noticed and said simply, "It's one of this dancer's favorite songs to dance to." He shrugged.

Naruto looked at the stage for the first time then. The man was nearly completely naked now, having only the small undergarment that he would leave on while dancing for his adoring audience. Naruto snorted, oh man....Speedos. He laughed when he realized it could have been worse. The man could have been wearing a thong. He groaned....what had he gotten himself into this time?

The man on the stage was, curiously, wearing a mask. A beautiful white feathered half-mask in the shape of a bird, the wings going up at the sides of the man's bright bluish-green eyes. Beautiful long blonde hair fell on his shoulders and in front of one side of his face, the rest was pulled into a high ponytail. He had a bandage over the left-hand side of his chest, but other than that the only article of 'clothing', if you could call it that (it was more like an accessory), were his white gloves covering his hands. He writhed and moved sensually for the women swooning in front of the stage, muscles moving beautifully beneath his skin as he shifted and swayed, practically humping the stage itself.

The song began to fade, the man gracefully stood and gave a flourished bow to the women lined up as well as a flirtatious kiss blown back their way, as he left the stage. Everyone in the room got very silent as the lights began to dim. A sense of expectation had filled the room as he thought to head over to the table his friends were seated at. Sai must have really good connections because their table was front center of the stage, ensuring the best view of the dancer. He raised his eyebrows in askance at said ninja, who responded, "The show is starting."

"I thought they danced all night?" Naruto couldn't help himself, he was just far too curious because of all of the whispers of crazed women he could hear.

Sai shook his head and whispered, "The normal dancers do. This guy is one of the stars of Nightingales. He started out small, but everyone loved his act so much he was soon featured as one of the clubs main attractions." Naruto made a small 'o' with his mouth in understanding.

_So this guy should be hot shit, huh? It doesn't matter, I'm not attracted to men anyway. _He thought grudgingly, _even if they do have really pretty guys here. _

"Ohmygod! I'm so excited! We came on the perfect night! He only dances one day a week and he is soooo hawt!" A girl off to the side at a neighboring table was talking rather animatedly to her friends in a not-so-quiet whisper. On top of that, the rest of the girls squealed loudly in an exaggerated way.

Oh god....really, what have I gotten myself mixed up in? Naruto rolled his eyes heavenward.

He slipped the mirrored glasses off and rested them on the table. Surely, nobody would be able to see in this dim light, plus, he thought smartly, everyone would be preoccupied staring at the stage. Just then, all talking in the room ceased as faint music began to play. As the speed picked up a little he heard a voice begin to sing lowly. It was neither near nor very far away, and definitely wasn't coming from over the speakers in the PA system.

Naruto started to recognize the song as one of Sugiyama Noriaki's. Ah, it was Suigintou no Yoru, and the man stepping through the thick layers of red satin and velvet curtains was _actually_ singing it. And to Naruto's ire...he had a beautiful voice! _Like a friggin angel..._

_And _to top it all off, what showed of his body through the intricate costume was damn hot! He also had a mask on – maybe it was like club procedure? Naruto didn't know, he'd never been to a place like this before. Nevertheless, the mystery just seemed to add to the growing excitement. His mask was black, a dark onyx color that perfectly matched the color of the man's eyes and hair. Everything about him was dark except for the enticing 'clothing' he wore and the paler-than-normal skin showing peeking through. The mask rested over his eyes but stopped over his cheeks, where a faint flush could be seen (_Hmm....cute..._), and dipped to rest just over the top of his nose. Studying the mask drew Naruto's eyes lower to pouted, lightly pink lips. Kami-sama....that mouth was sinful looking!

Naruto mentally slapped himself. _I. Do. Not. Like. Guys! _He gritted it to himself with as much force as he could possibly muster. Still, he was studying the man once again. Hmm...maybe he should make that 'boy'. He didn't look like he was much older than them, but then again it was hard to tell. There were dark black bangs falling around the sides of the mask down to his jaw line, and the rest of the short hair he sported was collected in a small ponytail with a red ribbon. A very loose kimono was draped over him, obviously of a feminine make with a tight thick sash at the waist, and it had begun to slip over and down his shoulders revealing his chest and opened at the bottom to show a long line of leg (not to mention the fact that he wasn't wearing anything underneath it but a small pair of high-cut black shorts and some very kinky looking black leather boots, with a rather large heel).

He had knelt on the stage, still sensuously singing, and was now crawling forward in the direction of their table. Naruto watched entranced as more muscles, than he thought it was possible to have, contracted and moved under that alabaster skin. Hips rolled erotically and every once in a while his hands would roam teasingly down his body. Jeez, this was getting to be too much. Naruto couldn't take his eyes away from the pull of that body. It was so goddamn beautiful and it strangely tugged at something familiar at the edges of his mind. Then, without warning, those black abyssal eyes, full of so many unnamed emotions, flickered to Naruto's and his whole world came crashing down. He felt like he knew those eyes, like they had been acquainted long ago, but that wasn't right, was it? He didn't know anybody who stripped....did he? He actually wouldn't doubt it after meeting some of the people ero-sennin knew, but honestly he racked his brain and couldn't come up with any feasible answer as to why this guy was so alluring.

Unfortunately for Naruto, he was extremely curious now and slightly dazed from locking sight with the boy before him, who interestingly was moving like he was going to undo the tie at the back of the sash. So dazed in fact, that it never even registered the way those dark eyes had widened in surprise when he had stared into Naruto's cerulean blue ones and then quickly looked away, at anything else in the room, a light reddish-pink over his cheeks that quickly spread to his ears and even his flushed chest as well.

The boy had hurriedly turned away and started fumbling with the bow so that his audience could see what he was doing. His hands stilled and he made a great show of pouting that he couldn't untie the bow. The act was received with all manner of crazed fangirlish screams as he knelt again and leaned back toward the edge of the stage, toward Neji of all people. For his part, Neji turned the color of a tomato and gave the most horrified wide-eyed expression Naruto had ever seen. The offending party wiggled his butt back and forth expectantly as if to teasingly say 'could you help me untie this?', a small smile playing at his lips. Neji took the hint, though still beat red, and stood up the short distance it would take to reach him and took hold of one end of the tie and pulled, the whole sash unraveling and falling into Neji's hands.

The boy turned and took the golden piece of material. Draping it over Neji's shoulders, the dancer used the cloth to pull until he could kiss the Hyuuga on the forehead, where Neji had felt it necessary to put a black headband to cover the symbol of his curse-bound servitude. The procession was an odd one, although admittedly probably not for a stripper, but it gave the sense that the boy knew what lay hidden under the headband. Surely, he could not though....right?

He gave a knowing smile to Neji and the rest of the table of boys, an infuriating smirk still tugging at the corners of his mouth, like for all the world he knew something that they didn't. The dancer turned away again and let the thin silk of his colorful kimono fall almost accidentally – almost shyly – down his shoulders and back, past his ass and thighs, to pool on the ground at his feet, all the while still swaying and moving his body knowingly to the music. The bulk of clothing gone, Naruto could tell that he had somehow missed the fact that the boy in question was also wearing a long pair of fingerless black gloves that stretched all the way to his forearms and sported quite a few buckles and straps.

Gods, he was an angel. A dark angel. So beautiful. And sinful. All he needed were two black feathery wings and he'd truly look the way Naruto kept seeing him as. This being was ethereal, was unreal, and Naruto could feel the beginnings of a somewhat familiar pang in his chest. Why was this affecting him so strongly? Was it the alcohol maybe? _How can I be so utterly besotted with someone I've never even met before?!_

The show was gaining intensity, which was good all things considered. The blonde had been dazed, everything moving in a sort of slowed down version of reality, where all he could see was that gorgeous face and body. It was like watching a very vivid sex dream unfold right before your eyes. The boy positively dripped sex, every bit of him knowing just what to do to bring the utmost arousal to his audience. The music was coming to an end but was seamlessly bleeding into a new, rowdier song, one in which their charming dancer was opting not to sing apparently but instead was wildly throwing himself into every movement he made.

Now that things were getting heated he could hear the women around them whispering obscenities to each other again. Jeez, did they have no shame? Never mind the fact that he was thinking much the same thing by now. Naruto rarely felt it necessary to use that pesky thing called logic. One table over, in the opposite direction from before, he could hear something interesting though...

"You know, he always plays at least one tragic love song. It's really very sweet," she leaned in to whisper more quietly to her friend, as if it was a secret, "Everyone says that it's because he's love-sick and has a broken heart or something awful like that."

"Oh, I feel so sorry for him. He must have lost someone dear to him. I wonder who he's pining after, poor thing," the friend said with a small smile. "We should try to comfort him tonight. I'm sure that the affection will cheer him right up, it always seems to." She punctuated this by raising a fist in the air and smiling broadly.

Naruto, who was about to fall out of his chair for he was leaning too far in their direction, straightened up and kept muttering something about 'damn kunoichi' under his breath for most of the night....that is, when all the air in his lungs weren't completely stolen by the sight of his masked beauty. Even that couldn't distract his mind from eight little words he had heard that echoed in his head. _'He must have lost someone dear to him...'_

_I can relate, _Naruto thought bitterly.

His body was still doing all kinds of wonderful things (That slightly horrified him; because really, he didn't like guys! Honestly...) and he was breaking out in a sweat as his convictions were lessening by the second. The boy was slowly losing every article of...well, anything he was wearing. Thick leather cuffs and other assorted bracelets were the first to go, followed by him pulling his gloves slowly down his arms..._**with his teeth**_.

Incidentally, Naruto's pants were getting a little bit uncomfortable, a raging hard-on rubbing against his leg. Man, this guy was good. Naruto had glimpsed female strippers before...yet, they possessed maybe a tenth of this person's skill at eroticism. Even the blonde who had gone on before hadn't been half as good, and Naruto had been impressed with him at the time! It was entrancing and he could only watch as the collar around the neck of the object of his fascination was unbuckled. What a beautiful neck he had, it made Naruto want to bite into it...maybe even draw blood to run down that pale skin. He hardly had time to stop and think though, because his eyes were drawn to long muscled legs as the very feminine thick-soled, over-the-knee boots were starting to be unzipped.

God, what was happening to him!? He literally felt like he was salivating just watching patch after patch of perfect skin be revealed. That was it. He had to do something. He just wasn't too clear on what that was yet...

Grace and poise weren't even strong enough statements for the truly amazing performance he continued around the rounded stage, being sure to not neglect any table within reach of his platform. And that included their table. Naruto bit his lip as the boy made his way back around to them, a sly smirk on his face. Gee, he was really enjoying all this attention wasn't he? To Naruto's horror he stopped dead in front of their table and for all the world looked as if he was going to take the last piece of clothing he had off, though the small black shorts hardly hid anything to begin with. He was on his knees again, fingers in the waistband, tugging the material down his thighs. Naruto cursed himself. Fate was an ironic bitch! He just had to open his big mouth earlier...well, mental mouth...yeah, that works. He just had to say how glad he was the guy earlier wasn't wearing a thong. He groaned and slapped a hand over his eyes. Sure enough this guy _was_, under those skin tight shorts no less.

It wasn't embarrassment. Really. He just was busy calling himself stupid. His body betrayed him once again, though, in the form of his cock twitching longingly. Lust was starting to cloud his judgment, or so he told himself. Things were slowly wrapping up now that their entertainment had bared himself to the world and had made another round of charmingly teasing the girls, who were all doing any combination of three things: drooling, nose bleeding uncontrollably, or giving nervous giggles at the sight of his almost naked body. Despite the fact that he had a hard and well-toned body the frame was still quite feminine.

A very tall woman with long red hair had come to stand beside him, by the way she was dressed one could only assume that she was the owner of the place, and took his hand in hers. He gave her a very polite smile before she tugged him back up the steps to the stage. She turned him to face the audience once again, "I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed our performance tonight." She smiled at the boy and they both bent slightly at the waist and bowed their heads to everyone in the room in an ingratiating manner, although, the dark-haired boy still held that hint of smile on his plump lips and his endlessly fascinating eyes, framed by black bangs following his motion, never left the crowded room that was cheering him their praises. Naruto could tell then – this guy only did this, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. It was written all over his partially concealed face – he liked the attention.

"Ah, but my beauties, the night has only just begun. Who will be the first of the night to keep my Raven company?" Before any of the oohs and ahhs had even escaped mouths, before hands eagerly shot into the air, Naruto was out of his seat and in front of the stage. Naruto, like usual, hadn't even thought about what he was doing until it was too late, and by that time he was standing in front of the lady and her prize, his hand outstretched eagerly – almost desperately – in the direction of 'her Raven'. Naruto had thought it a fitting kind of alternate identity.

His breath was coming out in short pants, chest heaving, and his fingers were wavering slightly. Surprisingly, the woman simply closed her eyes and smiled in pure happiness at Naruto, "It seems we already have an eager first costumer for the night." She looked at the dancer with a questioning glance.

The dark-haired man simply gave a small nod, a solemn and speculative sort of look on his face.

--

A/N: So I know I'm evil, but I'm going to make this a two-shot and let you guys simmer in this juiciness for just a bit! XD For one thing it's at about 4,000 words and totaling 8 pages in Microsoft Word!

Review please! I know my crack is weird but Stripper!Sasuke is wonderful! Hope there wasn't any ooc-ness, but rest assured that Sasuke will be his usual stoic asshole self to Naruto! :)

(I'm working on a picture of Sasuke..shhh...*devious grin* It's gonna be good.)


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